Ghosts
by webofdreams89
Summary: Spoilers. Neji held him tightly in his arms, rubbing his back in a way that was supposed to be soothing. "Naruto, we all have our ghosts," he said. "We just have to learn how to deal with them in time." NejiNaru


A/N: This is a story I've had floating around in my head since Neji's death and I had to get it out, though it really pained me to do so.

Ghosts

Summary: Spoilers. Neji held him tightly in his arms, rubbing his back in a way that was supposed to be soothing. "Naruto, we all have our ghosts," he said. "We just have to learn how to deal with them in time." NejiNaru, slight one-sided NaruHina  
Rated: T

* * *

Sometimes at night, when Naruto lay in bed, arms wrapped around himself and keeping perfectly still, he could still feel his touch. Neji's. Fingers caressing his skin with the gentleness of a feather, hands running down his body like they had hundreds of times before.

And sometimes, when he is able to keep his mind from running at the speed of light, Naruto can see his face, can see him lying next to him, long hair draped over his body. Naruto used to like running his fingers through that hair, relishing in how soft it was and the light, airy scent that drifted upward when Naruto played with it. After they would get done having sex, Naruto would spend hours touching Neji's hair, using it to tickle Neji's chest until he was able to tempt one of the rare smiles that were only reserved for Naruto.

Once in a while, when they were alone and Neji was pressed again Naruto's back, fingers skimming across his chest, he liked to say, "You're full of insouciance, Naruto. I'm jealous." And Naruto would laugh, pretending to be in on the joke.

It wasn't until after Neji was gone, after he was buried with the rest of the Konaha casualties of war, that Naruto finally looked up what the word meant in the dictionary Sakura had given him years back.

Now Naruto would pretend Neji was saying it to him and he would answer, "No, I'm not anymore."

* * *

At least once a week when they weren't away on missions, Naruto would meet Hinata for lunch. Once in a while, her little sister Hanabi would join them because she liked to be around Hinata who was so sad now. But usually they were alone and they would talk, careful to follow the rule: not mentioning Neji. That was a pain they'd silently agreed to bear solitarily.

Every once in a while, when they were hanging out, Naruto would pretend she was Neji. It wasn't hard given they had the same milky eyes. But it was more than that. After her cousin's death, she seemed to take over certain aspects of his personality. She didn't blush or tremble anymore, but rather became stoic and thoughtful almost to a fault. Naruto would pretend they were in his apartment and Neji had just cooked them dinner and they were regaling the happenings of the day. Hinata was different now. But so was Naruto, and they accepted it, even if no one else could.

But reality always crept through and Naruto began to notice the differences, Hinata's bluish hair, her heart-shaped face, the curve of her breasts through her clothes, and he was forced to deal with reality once again.

Naruto was sure Hinata knew he did this having witnessed that understanding look in her eyes on multiple occasions, but she never mentioned it. Naruto was grateful.

* * *

Sakura often visited him on her days off from the hospital. She was worried about him, but she was completely helpless in the matter. She didn't know what to do for him which killed her. Tsunade was encouraging, telling Sakura that the best she could do for Naruto was to let him know she was there for him.

Every once in a while, Sakura would organize a little get together for Naruto with all their friends who cared about him. At the first one, Naruto had broken down and, sandwiched between Sakura and Hinata, said that Neji should have been there too. The rest of their friends stood there for a moment before each of them piled into the hug, finding some way to touch Naruto be it just a brush of fingers on his arm or fingers through his hair. They all held each other and somehow, at least for a little while, it made them all hurt a little less.

* * *

Other than the memories, what kept up Naruto at night was the fact that Neji had died for him, had jumped in the way and took the attack that should have been Naruto's.

Everyone said how heroic it was, dying for the one you love, but Naruto couldn't see that way and wasn't sure if he ever would. Left alive, left alone, it just made Naruto think Neji's last act was stupid. Objectively, he knew why Neji did it, because he loved Naruto more than he feared death, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

* * *

It took months and months of being together before Neji let Naruto see him without his headband or some type of bandana on. Even during sex and while they slept, he would leave some sort of wrap around is his forehead to cover the curse marks. They never talked about it, about how he always kept it covered despite Naruto's assertations that, when he was Hokage, would abolish the Hyuuga practice of branding the branch family.

One of the times they were caught up in the moment in Naruto's apartment, Naruto yanked Neji's shirt over his head with enough force that it pulled up his headband too. A panicked look fluttered across the other boy's face, his fingers reaching up to pull it back down over the green tattoo. Looking hard at Naruto, something seemed to change his mind and instead, he untied the knot at the back of his head and let the fabric fall from his fingertips.

Naruto knew this was a big moment for them. As far as he knew, Neji had never willingly let anyone see his bare forehead, and now he was letting Naruto.

Naruto's eyes unwittingly shot up to look at the brand. Taking a deep breath, he asked, "Will it hurt you if I touch it?" His voice was low, scarcely above a whisper.

Neji smiled wryly back at him. "No, Naruto," he breathed. "Not unless you have any Hyuuga blood."

Naruto smiled softly back. "I don't as far as I know. But when it comes to my family, I don't know much."

His fingers reached forward, but when he was millimeters away, he curled his finger back into a fist, dropping it. Suddenly, Naruto wasn't as assured of himself like he typically was.

Neji's voice became yielding. "Naruto, please. I think…I think I need this."

Nodding determinedly, Naruto reached back up, gently skimming his fingers from one end of the seal to the other. He then placed his hands on either side of Neji's face and, standing up on his toes, kissed him delicately on the forehead. And then Naruto was pulled tightly into Neji's arms, kisses raining down the side of his face, down his neck, over his collarbones.

After that, Neji took his headband off whenever they were alone.

Later, when Naruto held Neji's bleeding body in his arms, he stared hard at his clean, pale forehead and hoped that now, just maybe, he was finally at peace.

* * *

The night after Pein's attack on Konaha, Naruto recounted to Neji how he met his dad. Naruto's face had been bright as he repeated it, detail for detail, before his face crumpled and he was overcome with grief for the father he'd never had the chance to know.

"How am I supposed to live with knowing that my dad died to protect me?" he said between sobs.

Neji held him tightly in his arms, rubbing his back in a way that was supposed to be soothing. "You just have to," he said quietly, thinking of his own father. "Naruto, we all have our ghosts. We just have to learn how to deal with them in time."

* * *

_Naruto, we all have our ghosts._

Naruto often repeated this to himself before adding each time: Yeah, and now you're mine.

* * *

"How have you been, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked the blond between bites of thoughtfully chewed food. She was always like that now, thoughtful, contemplative with an unnerving calmness.

"You know me, Hinata," Naruto said with a hoarse laugh. "I'm perfectly fine."

Setting her chopsticks down on the edge of her plate, she said, "I _do_ know you, Naruto. That's how I know you're full of bull."

This wasn't the Hinata Naruto was used to. This blunter Hinata wasn't someone he could disarm with a wide grin, but someone who saw easily through them.

Bowing his head slightly, Naruto replied, "You're right. I am full of bull."

A silence ensued and she took another few bites of food before she said, "You can't keep living like this, Naruto. He wouldn't want you to."

And just like that, this new Hinata broke the rules that the old Hinata would never have dreamed of doing.

Naruto hissed, throwing his chopsticks on the table. His nearly nonexistent appetite vanished, and the smell of the food churned his stomach.

He said nothing.

"You know that I'm right," she said adamantly. "Maybe I didn't know him the same way you did, Naruto, but I _did_ know him, better than almost anyone did. We talked about a lot of things." Pausing, she added, "You know, it's because of you that I was even able to get to know him. I'm not sure if I ever thanked you for that."

Naruto felt shame growing in the pit of his stomach. Sometimes, he just hurt so much that he forgot he wasn't the only one grieving. "Hinata," he said, voice full of humility, "you never had to."

She pursed her lips. "Maybe, but it doesn't make my conscious feel any clearer."

Again, she set her chopsticks down, pushing her plate to the side. She let her elbows rest on the table and she leaned forward. "That's why I have a proposition for you, Naruto.

"Because of my efforts during the war, Father had officially named me as heir to the Hyuuga family. That means that someday, my sister is going to become a branch member of the family, and you of all people know what that means. I can't let that happen, Naruto," she said, her voice almost deadly. Where had this authority come from?

"What do you want me to do?" Naruto asked.

"I want us to move in together," she said, pursing her lips together as she watched his subsequent surprise.

Naruto hadn't quite been expecting that. "Move in together? What do you mean?"

Smiling slightly, she said, "You know what it means. We'll find a two bedroom somewhere, we'll live together. We'll be roommates."

Naruto's brow furrowed. "Why do you want to be my roommate, Hinata?" he asked, his tone becoming sharp.

Her smile grew. "I think I can help you out in two ways, Naruto."

He continued to stare at her.

"I know you're lonely. I'm lonely too. We've both been through a lot so it can't be helped. If we both have someone we can talk to about anything whenever we're feeling our worst, we'll feel better. We'll heal faster."

"I don't know if I'm ever going to heal, Hinata," he admitted.

"I know," she said softly. "But you have to try."

She watched him press his lips together in a tight thin line before he nodded.

"And my second reason is that I_ need_ you to become Hokage." That authority from earlier returned to her voice and it made Naruto's eyes widen.

"You _need_ me to be Hokage?" he asked, confused.

She nodded. "I do. Like I said earlier, my sister will be pushed off into the branch family. If it was me, I wouldn't care as much. But I tried to convince my father that it should be Hanabi that's the heir, but he said that I have experience she will never have because the world is at peace now. I know and have seen things she can't possibly imagine. I tried, but I couldn't convince him to choose Hanabi.

"That's why I _need_ you to become Hokage. Because you once made a promise to Neji that when you became Hokage, you would abolish the concept of main house and branch house. My father has many years to go before he'll be ready to step down, but we're shinobi and could die at any time. If you do that, if you become the Hokage, then Hanabi will never have to go through that and neither will anyone else. Maybe we'll find a way to remove the seals from those that already have them. You become Hokage and you can keep your promise to Neji. I'll do anything I possibly can to ensure that you do so. I'll study laws with you, history, anything to convince the counsel that you are the best choice to be Tsunade's successor."

Naruto's head was reeling from everything Hinata had just said. Since Neji's death, he hadn't thought once about his dream to become Hokage and Tsunade hadn't questioned it. She knew what Naruto was going through, having gone through the same thing when she was young. She knew he needed time. But she couldn't give him too much time or the elders would never agree to it, and she told Hinata as much when the girl had sought her out for advice.

Something else, something that nagged Naruto came to mind. "During the fight with Pein, you told me you loved me, Hinata."

A hint of her old self shone through on her pinkened cheeks. "I did."

"Why would you want to live with me then?" he asked. "I was with your cousin instead. I rejected you." His voice was heavy with self-depreciation.

Surprisingly, Hinata laughed. "Oh Naruto, I knew what would happen when I told you. I just had to tell you though, that was the point. I held it inside for so long that I had to tell you even though I knew you were with Neji. Jt made me feel better, just telling you.

"I still love you," she admitted, running her fingers through her hair in a way that reminded Naruto of Neji so much that it hurt. "Whether or not you come to feel the same way isn't the point right now. Long ago, you inspired me to protect the ones that I love at all costs, and that's what's important to me right now. You need me, Hanabi needs me, and that's what has to come first."

Naruto felt the first genuine smile cross his face in a long time. "I guess we could give it a shot," he said. "After all, I do have a promise to keep."

* * *

It was night, and they'd just collapsed on the ground after training for hours. Everyone else had gone home long ago, even Lee who usually outlasted everyone. They laid close enough to each other that Naruto could reach out and touch Neji's arm if he wanted to. And he did want to, but for the time being, he was content to stare up at the stars.

After a while, Naruto heard the soft rustle of clothing and Neji came into his field of vision, resting on his elbow to gaze down at the other boy. "You look so beautiful," he told Naruto in a soft husky voice, hand reaching out to brush along Naruto's jaw.

Naruto felt his heart begin to thump wildly in his chest. At some point during training, the band that usually secured Neji's hair had come loose and now his hair brushed along Naruto's arm.

"I've wanted to kiss you for a long time," Neji said, his voice raw. And when Naruto looked at him, Neji's gaze was so intense that it made Naruto's breath catch sharply in his throat.

He gulped, reaching up to brush his fingertips along Neji's face. "Then kiss me," Naruto said. It was almost a plea because he'd wanted it for ages too.

Neji leaned down to close the space between them, his breath hot on Naruto's cheeks. Burying his hand in Neji's hair at the back of his head, Naruto whispered again, "Kiss me," and they drew their lips together for the first time.

Naruto felt a hopeful sort of feeling bubbling in his stomach that had never been there before. And around them, the air was crackling with possibility.


End file.
